In the course of time that I have been a model, I have been exposed to a variety of situations that could be taken for better or for worse. Some of those situations cause me to cringe, and some of the others make me smile despite the turn of events. Life can be a harsh master, but it is one of the best ones I can have ever asked for. In the two plus years that I have been talking with strangers, promoting myself, building myself as a person and model, and stripping for cameras, the stories are great, but the lessons are greater.
I had a shoot with a photographer who is very involved in Los Angeles and Hollywood PR work. It was one of my first shoots. We decided that we would be shooting test shots for a clothing line I wanted to represent as well as doing a few outdoor nudes in three tier waterfalls (I had never seen my skin turn close to blue before that day). I met the a very energetic young man with a professional air who was geared with a camera bag, two water bottles, and a good sized camera that didn't appear to fit the case hanging from his shoulder. This shoot, to my realization, entailed us walking a solid three or four miles uphill, downhill, across brooks, and through VERY thick brush. As we started out, he found a rock he wanted to shoot me on. Great! The shot would look great if we worked together well. I agreed to get to it. I wasn't aware that the way to reach this large rock was via walking through dry, dense bushes about one hundred feet until I could crawl onto this rock for safety. Truth be told, I was not a happy camper, but I had committed to this shot that he and I wanted. My poor legs rapidly became decorated with scratches and small beads of blood due to only bringing shorts for this particular shoot.
Lesson #1
Always bring pants and good walking shoes when working outdoors. Always. Even if it's "just a short stroll".
We got some great shots! I was pleased. I quickly skittered back to the path, blazing my own slightly less painful way to safety. Next were the waterfalls. As we walked the sandy trail, we had time to learn more about one another. I asked him about his profession and how he started making his way into the business, if he truly enjoyed what he did, and where he could see himself going. In turn, he asked me the same thing. Our conversation went something like this:
Photographer: What made you start wanting to model?
Me: My parents are getting divorced, and it's ugly. Watching all of that mayhem taught me that life is short, and that I need to do what I want to do. I can't keep pleasing everyone else, and I'm an artist. This is another form of art I want to experience.
Photographer: ... That's a brutally honest answer. I wasn't expecting that.
Me: *shrugs* I enjoy being blunt and honest. Do you tend to get flowery answers?
Photographer: Yeah. I get things about how they want pretty pictures of themselves or their friend is doing it so they want to.
Me: Well, vanity is fun. I'm not going to say no to that. It's more than that to me, though.
Photographer: I see. Where do you want to go with it?
Me: I can't honestly give you an answer to that at the moment. Not in the sense of "Vogue" or anything. I want to push myself and experience a different culture. I'm fascinated by the industry, and it's definitely a bit of a personal journey.
Photographer: How so?
Me: Ever since I was little, I would take anything anyone ever told me personally and as truth. I knew they were wrong, but I must be wrong about myself if they were seeing something different. So, they must be right. Telling people they were wrong and fighting for myself was weird. I didn't like conflict. So I bit my tongue. It didn't make me happy though.
Photographer: Happiness is very important in life. I'm glad you're making a change. I can see that you have something special. Do you think that you're good at modeling and have a future to it?
Me: I know I'm good at it. I just started a couple months ago, and I already know I'm better than your average model. I'm not trying to be full of myself, but I want to make a career out of this and work very hard for it.
Photographer: Your confidence is great! Are you charging yet?
Me: I want to, but people keep telling me that I'm not ready to yet and that I can't charge what I want to.
Photographer: Let me tell you something - maybe you just need the reminder. Charge what you're worth. You are obviously confident in your skills, and I can see that you have great potential. Never let other people limit you. If you want to charge x amount, do it! You can go as far as you want to.
Lesson #2
Angels come in many forms.
Prior to the shoot, I had a knock out, heated argument with my parents and was feeling very small. However, whenever I model, a different Aina comes out. One who is happy, strong, confident, and far from small.
Anyone who knows me personally will know that my parents' divorce is equal to walking on thorns while trying to balance a six tier cake on one's head. My parents have been less than supportive for my choices to varying degrees. I'll write about that at another time. Some people suffer from their significant others tearing them down and leaving them emotionally and mentally battered with their family behind them telling them to leave and coddling them when they need the love. The opposite is true for me. When this photographer told me to not let other people limit me and gave me such a pep talk that I didn't ask for, he didn't realize that he had made me incredibly happy. Later that week, I moved out.
Lesson #3
Your future is not determined by other people. Don't let someone tell you "no".
With Love,
Aina
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