Practice your Kegels (men, you too)

     Le gasp! What does this have to do with modeling?

Everything.

      Initially, I wanted to type say that I wished that the world was not focused on beauty and aesthetics, and that we should label things based on society's standards, but I caught myself before I typed the first word. Scratch that. I am glad that our world is focused on beauty and aesthetics - whether we are aware of it are not! How dull life would be if our attitudes and personalities didn't show through in our craftsmanship! 

     Consider the child (or adult) who creates massive Lego structures, pouring their blood, sweat, and soul into their baby. Consider the finance student who fell asleep on his books, beyond fatigued in his venture to learn the makings of his trade. Perhaps I can tickle your fancy with the knowledge you already have of the time he/she/they spent being denied before they were picked up and focused on. Or, be daring and get brave. What about your hobby? That thing that gets your blood simmering and pumping?

      There's a book I'm reading called "Ooh La La!" by Jamie Cat Callan. It's all about French women's secrets to beauty and feeling top notch, beautiful, and glowing every day. My birthday recently passed, and I was gifted gift cards to Barnes & Noble - one of my favorite stores. In the effort of trying to save money and trying something new, I randomly picked two books from the clearance to section. Truth be told, I didn't and still do not want to read them. I have yet to crack them open, and I have decided to return them as soon as I am able to. I picked up "Ooh La La!", feeling slightly silly about wanting to read a book about beauty, French women, and little tips. I should be reading more interesting and valuable materials! Expanding my horizons! Psh. Yeah. That's what I have imposed upon myself that I "think" I should be doing - not what I want to do. So, I bought this little book - money aside.

     My last blog post was about learning lessons wherever you wanted and could. Life throws lemonade your way, premade - you just have to find those little pitchers, sit down, and drink some. I'm not even half way through the book, but I am completely in love. Why? Do I not know the secret to being beautiful? I am a model. I do know the secret. I've known the secret for a very long time. I've made it a bigger deal in the most recent years. Would you like to know what it is? This book agrees with me. So do countless other blogs, self helps, and people.

I am myself. No more. No less. I am me without shame.

       That's it! Now, with that said, a person never stays the same throughout their entire life. Your body changes as you age, as it should. Why can your mind and soul not do the same? One of the reason's why I brought up the book "Ooh La La!" is because there is a very important point mentioned that I have realized to be true and quite intriguing: Women in America feel as though vanity is a chore and obligation, but should be cherished from a distance (hence botox, implants, avoiding aging, etc) and all "cheats" must be payed for right now while you are ridden with guilt. French women, however, want to be seen AND touched - hence why they take care of themselves so well. Spending time to be happy, present, investing in relationships with every person you meet (even in stores!), spending time on yourself, eating that piece of chocolate cake, and not feeling guilty about ANYTHING? NO choice they make? Sign me up.

      Granted, I've been very much tuning into the workings of my mind, soul, and feeding my brain with things that interest me and make me happy more-so - especially as of late. I've been taking the time to REALLY take care of myself - not just superficially. I don't diet. I naturally eat better because I want the best for myself and am quite in tune with how things make me feel and why. I meditate. I relax. I take a bath. I have been investing in my candle collection again as well as my bottles of lotion. Mmmm..... In turn, I must say, I have been happier on a different level, and it affects everything I do.

       Here's my biggest kicker: I don't feel guilty for wanting to spend time with myself. It's actually time to reset my button and allows me to think without the stress of constantly doing something. And it changes a person's persona when they meet their own needs, are happy with themselves, THEN take care of others. I've noticed that I have more to give after I have given to myself. I've been raised to believe that you put others first, and, now that I'm thinking about it, it doesn't really make sense. Eventually, you won't have anything left to give and will become just a shell. Nothing inside. Just a shell. No one's home. Not even the light's are on.

      Do you want to be a good model? Take care of yourself for more than just the reason of being pretty. Feel good about you. Feel good about your body. Feel good about taking a nap during the day, about getting a massage, about taking a walk when you have sixty million things to do, and about buying that candle that you adore. More than just your modeling will change. 

You Never Stop Learning

     ( Unless you're dead, of course. )

     In the course of time that I have been a model, I have been exposed to a variety of situations that could be taken for better or for worse. Some of those situations cause me to cringe, and some of the others make me smile despite the turn of events. Life can be a harsh master, but it is one of the best ones I can have ever asked for. In the two plus years that I have been talking with strangers, promoting myself, building myself as a person and model, and stripping for cameras, the stories are great, but the lessons are greater.

    I had a shoot with a photographer who is very involved in Los Angeles and Hollywood PR work. It was one of my first shoots. We decided that we would be shooting test shots for a clothing line I wanted to represent as well as doing a few outdoor nudes in three tier waterfalls (I had never seen my skin turn close to blue before that day). I met the a very energetic young man with a professional air who was geared with a camera bag, two water bottles, and a good sized camera that didn't appear to fit the case hanging from his shoulder. This shoot, to my realization, entailed us walking a solid three or four miles uphill, downhill, across brooks, and through VERY thick brush. As we started out, he found a rock he wanted to shoot me on. Great! The shot would look great if we worked together well. I agreed to get to it. I wasn't aware that the way to reach this large rock was via walking through dry, dense bushes about one hundred feet until I could crawl onto this rock for safety. Truth be told, I was not a happy camper, but I had committed to this shot that he and I wanted. My poor legs rapidly became decorated with scratches and small beads of blood due to only bringing shorts for this particular shoot.

Lesson #1

Always bring pants and good walking shoes when working outdoors. Always. Even if it's "just a short stroll".

     We got some great shots! I was pleased. I quickly skittered back to the path, blazing my own slightly less painful way to safety. Next were the waterfalls. As we walked the sandy trail, we had time to learn more about one another. I asked him about his profession and how he started making his way into the business, if he truly enjoyed what he did, and where he could see himself going. In turn, he asked me the same thing. Our conversation went something like this:

Photographer: What made you start wanting to model?

Me: My parents are getting divorced, and it's ugly. Watching all of that mayhem taught me that life is short, and that I need to do what I want to do. I can't keep pleasing everyone else, and I'm an artist. This is another form of art I want to experience.

Photographer: ... That's a brutally honest answer. I wasn't expecting that.

Me: *shrugs* I enjoy being blunt and honest. Do you tend to get flowery answers?

Photographer: Yeah. I get things about how they want pretty pictures of themselves or their friend is doing it so they want to.

Me: Well, vanity is fun. I'm not going to say no to that. It's more than that to me, though. 

Photographer: I see. Where do you want to go with it?

Me: I can't honestly give you an answer to that at the moment. Not in the sense of "Vogue" or anything. I want to push myself and experience a different culture. I'm fascinated by the industry, and it's definitely a bit of a personal journey.

Photographer: How so?

Me: Ever since I was little, I would take anything anyone ever told me personally and as truth. I knew they were wrong, but I must be wrong about myself if they were seeing something different. So, they must be right. Telling people they were wrong and fighting for myself was weird. I didn't like conflict. So I bit my tongue. It didn't make me happy though.

Photographer: Happiness is very important in life. I'm glad you're making a change. I can see that you have something special. Do you think that you're good at modeling and have a future to it?

Me: I know I'm good at it. I just started a couple months ago, and I already know I'm better than your average model. I'm not trying to be full of myself, but I want to make a career out of this and work very hard for it.

Photographer: Your confidence is great! Are you charging yet?

Me: I want to, but people keep telling me that I'm not ready to yet and that I can't charge what I want to.

Photographer: Let me tell you something - maybe you just need the reminder. Charge what you're worth. You are obviously confident in your skills, and I can see that you have great potential. Never let other people limit you. If you want to charge x amount, do it! You can go as far as you want to.

Lesson #2

Angels come in many forms.

     Prior to the shoot, I had a knock out, heated argument with my parents and was feeling very small. However, whenever I model, a different Aina comes out. One who is happy, strong, confident, and far from small.

     Anyone who knows me personally will know that my parents' divorce is equal to walking on thorns while trying to balance a six tier cake on one's head. My parents have been less than supportive for my choices to varying degrees. I'll write about that at another time. Some people suffer from their significant others tearing them down and leaving them emotionally and mentally battered with their family behind them telling them to leave and coddling them when they need the love. The opposite is true for me. When this photographer told me to not let other people limit me and gave me such a pep talk that I didn't ask for, he didn't realize that he had made me incredibly happy. Later that week, I moved out.

Lesson #3

Your future is not determined by other people. Don't let someone tell you "no".

With Love,

Aina